My Mother is a Mad Cow

Xmas mayhem is sweeping my school, and I seem to have been affected by it.
On the 28th of November I was sprawled on the floor of my loungeroom frantically writing out Christmas cards to give to everyone in my classes. Then, in a possible out of body experience, I drew up a CHRISTMAS CARD LIST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And USED IT!!!!!!!!!!! I have actually posted off at least twenty Christmas cards.
And it gets worse. I also made up a present list and have rigidly followed it. Presents for mum, presents for dad, presents for the two little Sproglets, who, as far as I can tell, frantically tear the wrapping paper off their presents, then start fighting over who got better presents, the fighting culminating in presents sailing over peoples' heads at each other. But this year, after watching this happen ever year since Marcus' first Christmas, I have thought ahead and bought him some licorice and Andrew will get some vouchers (probably out-of-date ones too, I found them in Nan's cupboard).
Honestly, I think I will drop dead on the spot from lack of sleep.

Honestly, my mother is absolutely INSANE!!! She just found out that I have an email. Imean, whatever! "Get off that computer as once!" she says. "You'll be cyber-raped!"
Please God, help me..